On The Nature and Progression of Suicide

When being alive is too painful, emotionally, psychologically, physically, one begins to crave an escape, a way to "make it (the pain) stop". It begins with thoughts or images of death, suicidal ideation. A noose tightening around the neck, a gun pointed to the head, an image of a final breath while drowning in the middle of the ocean. The greater the intensity of the pain, the more frequent and incessant the thoughts and images become. Left unresolved, a point comes when the pain is unbearable, and a concrete plan begins to formulate.

I think it is important to note that there is often little rhyme or reason in the process of suicidal thinking. Once one’s pain passes a certain threshold, their whole being becomes preoccupied with trying to cope with the pain and finding an escape. The prospect of death becomes almost comforting and appealing. With time, the notion of suicide overpowers all other potential escape routes. It is thought of as the only true path to relief. This process of ideation, planning, and constantly seeking an escape is exhausting. One may feel like their previous passion for life is now a passion for death. Without some kind of intervention, the intolerable emotional distress and pain ends in death.

In a book by Leo Tolstoy titled “Confessions,” he describes his own experiences of suicidal thinking in a similar vein:

“Life had grown hateful to me, and some insuperable force was leading me to seek deliverance from it by whatever means. The force beckoning me away from life was similar to my striving after life, only it was going in the other direction. The thought of suicide now came to me as naturally as thoughts of improving my life had previously come to me. This idea was so attractive to me that I had to use cunning against myself in order to avoid carrying it out too hastily.”

In Jewish literature, there is not much talk about suicide, save for a few obscure references about suicide being a sin. The idea that suicide is a sin is based on the biblical verse "you shall live with them..." (Leviticus 18:5) referring to a person living (- not dying by suicide…) in accordance with the commandments of God outlined in the Torah. Some even say that one goes to hell if they kill themselves intentionally. (And yes, unlike the common misconception, there is the concept of hell in Judaism).

As far as the current culture in my community of origin, the orthodox Jewish community, there is a slow progression from psychopathology being extremely taboo to trying to address mental health issues more openly. However, orthodox folks are generally many years behind modern conventions and ways of thinking, leaving them mostly unaware of best practices when it comes to severe psychopathology.

In line with my initial remarks, I mostly think of suicide in the context of pain. Other theories related to impulsivity, general hopelessness, and social rejection also seem plausible and likely play a role in the progression of events leading to suicide. In the end, I think that many factors play into the "how" and "why" of suicide, and a single theory cannot sufficiently account for all factors involved. Hence, a theory for understanding and addressing the rising prevalence of suicide must account for all contributing variables.